


The Art of Perseverance

by AccidentallyObsessed



Series: Where You Stand, I Stand [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Caring!Bones, Established Relationship, Hurt!Bones, Hurt!Jim, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Tarsus IV (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccidentallyObsessed/pseuds/AccidentallyObsessed
Summary: "Well, now what?" He groaned from the floor, propping himself up on one elbow to survey the damage he'd taken, "Are you okay? Hey. I need a sit rep," Jim urged."For now," Came the cryptic answer."And what in the hell is that supposed to mean?"---Trapped, alone and against the clock. Together, they must find a way to endure.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: Where You Stand, I Stand [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572697
Comments: 35
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note the title of this fic has changed, but not the content! Enjoy!

In Jim's defence he hadn't meant for it to go so horribly wrong. Not that he ever meant for away missions to go like this, but especially not now. Not when Bones was with him, not when he'd agreed to come down planetside for a while for no other reason than the two of them had been on opposite schedules for far too long now, because simply put, his husband had missed him. Where had that gotten him? A space in this dank cell right beside Jim, that’s where.

"Well, now what?" He groaned from the floor, propping himself up on one elbow to survey the damage he'd taken, "Are you okay? Hey. I need a sit rep," Jim urged.

Their hosts had been less than gentle, both in the firefight and the transport to wherever the hell they were now, and the very thought of injuries on his husband was enough for him to drag his aching body into more of a sitting position.

"For now," Came the cryptic answer.

"And what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jim grumbled, rolling his eyes so hard he saw stars for a moment.

"It means we need to get the hell back to the ship Jim," Bones snapped in reply, clearly doing his own appraising glance of Jim, taking in any and all clues that he could be injured. Subtly, Jim tried to angle his body away from the ever vigilant doctor's eye, keeping his left side out of view as best he could, the darkness lending itself to his cause dramatically.

"But does it mean that you're hurt?" He pressed, frowning deeply at the reluctant nod that he received, "Okay. How hurt?"

"My arm's broken," A pause which Jim exploited to glare pointedly in Bones' direction, demanding the information he was clearly withholding "And I... I can't move it properly,"

It was only then that Bones moved closer, finally allowing Jim to see how pale he was as he supported his left arm with his right. And hell, if that wasn't enough to get Jim moving.

"Hey, sit down," He said urgently, biting back a groan as he rose, only to help support Bones to the ground, "Let me see" He said softly, folding himself slowly, carefully down onto his knees in front of his husband. Jim was by no means the doctor that Bones was, but he'd certainly seen his fair share of broken bones to know exactly what an arm _shouldn't_ look like.

"Okay," He nodded, swallowing hard as he tried for a calm tone, "Okay what... uh- what can I do?" He asked, helplessness bleeding into his tone.

His husband never faltered though, not like Jim did. Ever the doctor he took in the sight of his mangled arm with nothing but a curt nod, his hand reaching up to curl into Jim's shirt, "Breathe darlin'," He said softly, and Jim nearly scoffed. Of course he was looking out for Jim right now, ever the doctor even when he supposed to be the damn patient.

"Just breathe, that's it. Now, I have to get a look at the damn thing first. D'you have anything sharp? It's gonna be a damn sight better for the both of us if we can cut this sleeve off," Bones said simply, calm in a way Jim could never be in medical situations like this, not when adrenaline was pumping through him, urging him to _act_.

"Yeah, eh... hold on," He said somewhat distractedly, casting a critical eye round the cell. This was better. This was much better, now he had a task, something to set his mind to and distract him a little. Finally, his eyes fell on a rock sharp enough to suit their needs. Groaning a little he reached over to scoop it up.

"I'll be as careful as-"

"You're bleeding," Came the interruption, and Bones' voice was _livid_. He'd forgotten, in his rush to be useful, that he'd been trying to keep that particular piece of information under wraps, at least until the current crisis had been dealt with.

Jim sighed deeply, reaching up to pinch at the bridge of his nose, warding off the headache that was slowly forming there, "Bones, your arm is a fucking mess. Can we _please_ just focus on you right now? For once," He suggested tiredly.

"Like hell we can. For God's sake Jim, you're losing blood... _dammit_ ," Bones cursed, his good hand moving cautiously to the area just above the wound, coming away red with the stuff, "I swear to God Jim if you don't roll that shirt up right the hell now and let me see I'll not be talking to your ass for a month,"

Despite himself Jim couldn't help the smile that quirked up one side of his mouth, Bones indignant rant so familiar that it instantly put him at ease. This, of course, only made his husband's scowl deepen, "Broken bones don't rank nearly as highly as actively bleeding wounds in triage, you _moron_ ," The rant continued.

In end it wasn't Bones' grumbled words that made him comply, but rather the knowledge that nothing would make Bones feel better right now than making sure _Jim_ was okay. That, and it was the fastest way for Jim to get Bones patched up as well.

With a groan that caused Bones to reach for him with a murmured, "Easy," he rolled his shirts up and out of the way, revealing several wounds with glass protruding from them.

"It’s not that bad Bones, doesn't feel too deep," He hastened to assure and, for once, he really didn't think he was lying about that. Yeah, it hurt a little, but he didn't feel as though he was in any real danger, "And the glass is stopping the bleeding so just please... let's deal with that arm,"

He watched as his husband gently inspected the wounds, face pulling down to a frown. It was a significant injury perhaps, but they both knew from experience and expertise that while painful, it definitely wasn't life threatening. The glass would need to be removed, sure, but not until they had a way to control the bleeding.

Jim watched Bones process all this for a tense moment before, finally, "Okay. Okay, fine," The words were sighed out in resignation, "Fine. Let's just fix this damn arm and then get the hell out of here,"

Jim nodded readily, though when he turned his back to the limb, he paled a little. There was a reason why Jim wasn't a doctor, and this was it. He wasn't the kind of person who could stay calm and patient in the face of an injury, or the kind of person who could even keep the fear out of his expression, "Okay, here goes. I'll be quick," He promised, readying the rock with a murmured apology.

Despite his best efforts Jim couldn't keep from jostling the broken limb, wincing at every noise of pain Bones tried to conceal from him as he ripped his way up the sleeve as quickly as he could, "I'm sorry. Christ Bones, hold on. I'm nearly done. Bear with me," He said as calmly as he could, dropping the rock as though it had burned him the moment he was done.

"Jesus," Bones panted, his good hand wrapped in a death grip around Jim's golds, which Jim covered with one of his own, squeezing lightly until Bones' knuckles changed back from that unhealthy white shade.

"I know, I'm sorry," Jim hummed, content to sit with his husband until he regained himself a little.

Which he did eventually, looking up at Jim with determined eyes and a nod, "Okay, let's get this over with. Ideally, I just want to strap this to my chest and move the hell on, okay?" And at Jim's eager nod he cast his eyes downwards again, grimacing at the blotches that were beginning to cover his fingers and hand, "Can you feel a pulse on my wrist Jim?"

Jim searched, frowning, "I don't... I don't think so?"

"Okay, that's okay. Stop looking at me like that. What about on the inside of my thumb? Anything there?" Again, Jim could only shake his head helplessly, eyes wide even as he tried to school his expression back into something more neutral. He struggled though, because even Jim knew that was _bad_.

"Right," And just the way Bones said it made anxiety curl in Jim's stomach. It was spoken with the calm decisiveness of a doctor, the unnatural calm of someone being forced into a hard decision, "Okay. I'm fairly certain the bone is compressing an artery in my arm," Bones said slowly, looking at Jim seriously as though he didn't already grasp the severity of the situation, "It's not as bad as it sounds Jim, okay?"

"Sounds pretty bad from here," Jim muttered, his expression pinched.

"Yeah well who's the doctor here? That's what I thought. All this means is that we're going to have to set the bone, okay? That's all. Do you think you can help me with that?"

Jim must have hesitated for a fraction too long.

"You can do this, alright?" And then a warm hand was settling over his cheek, guiding his gaze away from the arm to Bones' eyes, "Hey. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I thought you couldn't,"

Taking a centring breath he nodded again. Bones needed him to do this. It was as simple as that. Jim would do this because Bones needed him, "Okay. Okay I can... just- I need... I need you to tell me what to do," He finished somewhat breathlessly, aware that his nerves were bleeding into his voice but unable to stop them. This wasn't in Jim's wheelhouse, and his uncertainty in this foreign situation was making itself known.

Bones simply nodded at him. Quite the opposite to Jim this was his profession, what he'd done for as long as Jim had known him. This couldn't even be that unusual for him, hell- Jim had seen him enlist many non-medical crew members to assist him in dire situations before. Never on himself though, Jim reminded himself sternly. For all the calm Bones was projecting Jim forced himself not to forget that this would be terrifying for his husband as well.

"Alright Jim. I have a displaced fracture, you know what that is? No? That means the ends of the bone aren't lined up, so we have to align them again. That's all," Bones said with that calm tone again. He was in him element now, Jim realised, falling easily into that roll of doctor, protecting Jim as he floundered, just as he'd always done.

" _That's all_ ," Jim repeated, incredulous.

"Yes Jim, listen to me. We're thinking of this as a basic medical procedure, so _that is all_ ," He stressed, nodding encouragingly as Jim met his eye again.

"Okay, okay. Alright... and then you'll have a pulse again?" He asked nervously, chewing at his lip until Bones gently tugged it free, managing a strained smile as he nodded.

"That's the hope," He said slowly, seriously, "It's the only way that's going to give me a chance," He said, and his voice shook on the last word in a way that made Jim's heart clench.

He wasn't stupid, he knew exactly what it meant for an arm to remain pulseless, knew exactly what that would mean for Bones’ in particular. He could see the panic there in his husband’s face, hidden well, but still there, visible in his eyes even he looked at Jim with a calm kind of certainty. He’d done all the calculations, Jim realised. He’d already weighed up all the options and this was it. This was their best chance. This was Bones’ best chance- and the doctor was clinging to this with all the composure he had left.

"Hey, you're going to be fine. We can do this," He said softly, earnestly... because he knew that's what Bones needed him to say right now, what he needed to hear, "Tell me what to do," And this time when he said it the words didn't shake at all, instead they were as determined as Jim could ever remember being.

"Okay. We just have to align the bone. So you're going to hold my wrist and just below my elbow. That's it, that's real good Jim," Bones said seriously but Jim could barely hear him because he was doing that thing again. That thing where he was clearly working out how break something to Jim, how to tell him something he wouldn't want to hear.

"Just say it," He sighed.

"I might pass out," Bones said gently, and Jim shuddered. Taking several deep breaths he looked away from Bones for just a moment and focused. Focused on not losing his nerve, focused on why _exactly_ he was doing this when all he wanted was to hold his damn husband tight and wait for this all to just stop.

"It's okay. It happens all the time. Better to be passed out that in pain," And Jim knew that, logically he did, but that didn't make it any easier to accept, "I just need you to be calm darlin', okay? That's all. No matter what happens, just stay calm,"

Calm like Bones was. God Jim felt awful, because if anyone had the right to be losing their shit right now it was Bones. Not him, "Let's just do this, yeah?" He managed to sigh, turning back to his husband with a renewed sense of purpose. The faster they did this, they faster it was over... the faster Bones could be recovering, not sitting in pain while Jim dithered.

"Okay, just... align the bone. So you're going to move that hand towards me and the other away. Yeah, just like that. Do it fast okay, don't you _dare_ falter Jim, you hear me? Good," He said firmly, swallowing tightly before squaring his shoulder and meeting Jim's eye.

"I hear you. Are you in the best position for this?" He asked on a sigh, watching as Bones considered that before moving.

He welcomed his husband easily as Bones tucked himself against Jim's good side, pressing his face tight against his neck while his good hand grabbed a fistful of gold shirt in a death grip.

"Okay. Do it,"

"Ready? One...Two...Thr-"

The last word was lost under a strangled sound. Not a scream, not like Jim had been expecting, just a choked off whine that punched him straight in the gut. Jim was fairly well acquainted with the kind of pain that caused that noise, the all consuming white hot agony that made even yelling too much of a task and God, just knowing that he'd put Bones through that was almost enough to make him throw up.

Almost.

Because right now he something much more important to focus on. The bone still hadn't lined up, not quite. He'd have to move the arm again, but Bones was whining against his neck and Christ... he couldn't do this. Only, he had to. Calm. He'd promised he'd be calm.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Christ Bones, I'm sorry," He found himself saying, "Shh, it's okay. I promise. We're nearly done. Just... I have to..." Jim manoeuvred the broken arm again, wincing at the _awful_ noise Bones made, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're okay. I'm done now, okay? I'm done. It's over,"

He was babbling he realised, a far cry from the gentle words Bones used on him when he was in pain, but Jim just couldn't handle this. He'd jump in front of the bullet every damn time rather than see Bones take one because he simply couldn't stand seeing him in pain like this.

He hummed reassuringly in the back of his throat as Bones took several shuddering breaths, nodding against Jim's neck to show that he'd heard, that he understood.

"There we go, that's it. No. Don't try talk yet, just breathe. Breathe Bones, that's it," He said softly, sighing in relief as his husband did just that, the breaths puffing out shakily against the skin of his neck.

"Christ Jim," He groaned, taking one last breath before moving backwards just enough to rest his forehead on Jim's.

"I know," Was all he could say back, aching to touch him, to hold him properly, but absolutely refusing to stop supporting the arm, to do any kind of accidental damage.

"Okay. Okay, I'm fine," Bones said, despite looking the exact opposite. He wasn't going to point that out though, not when his husband was still clearly trying to convince himself of that fact, "We just need to... can you take your shirt off? Let's just strap it to my chest and hope for a damn miracle,"

Nodding, Jim moved to do exactly that, shrugging out of his golds while Bones supported the limb.

"That's us, right. Wrap that up, under here. Fuck Jim...No, I'm fine, keep going. You need to- shit- you need to move my hand onto my opposite shoulder," A groan of pain interrupted whatever the hell he was going to say next as Jim elevated his arm, crossing it over chest, "Good. Good. Then tie the shirt just like tha-a-at," He spat out, the last word distorted by a gasp.

"Shit Bones, are you sure?"

"I'm _sure_ Jim. Just do it," Jim only hesitated for a moment longer, Bones' glare spurring him into action with a huff. Jim didn't know how he did this when the roles were reversed. When Jim was in pain and his husband was steadfastly guiding him through it because Jesus Christ this was awful, so much worse than he'd thought it would be.

"There, I'm done. Does that feel okay? Secure?" He quickly corrected himself because _obviously_ it didn't feel okay.

Sweaty and panting Bones nodded, using that vice like grip he had in Jim's shirt to pull him closer to his side, the pair of them leaning against the wall. Wearily he leaned his head on Jim shoulder, taking a moment just to rest there.

"Do I have a pulse?" Came the exhausted question.

Jim would have hurried to find out. Would have move immediately to feel for one and tell Bones either way, because he knew his husband had only gone through all that for one damn reason.

That's what he would have done... if the cell door had flown open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly converting a long ass rp of mine into a series! So, stick around for that I guess? A lot of scenes don't lend themselves very well to fic writing, so bear with me while I edit my way through 75k of McKirk angst, fluff and all round goodness!
> 
> Let me know what you think of this first instalment!


	2. Chapter 2

It must have been at least an hour later that Jim was literally thrown back into their cell, landing face down on the unforgiving ground. An hour since they'd entered, taken one look at Jim standing protectively in front of Bones and dragged out the door. What made it worse was that he didn't even know what they _wanted._ They never asked him for anything, just kept beating him. He had a sickening suspicion that they were doing it for fun. 

" _Jim_ ," He heard his husband startle, but he didn't immediately move from his position, took a few extra seconds to compose himself, to catch his breath and school his features back into something calmer. 

There was a shuffling noise before, "Jim? Darlin', can you hear me?" He startled a little as he felt gentle fingers in his hair, "C'mon Jim, answer me. I need to know if it's safe to move you," He could hear the frustration in Bones' voice. It was that, more than anything, that coaxed him into moving.

"Yes," He rasped, frowning at the sound of his own voice, "I can hear you, I'm fine," He managed to get out, turning his head in his husband's direction. He knew Bones didn't like what he saw just by the way his lips tightened, by the way he reached carefully to probe at an eye socket, only stopping when Jim let out a hiss between firmly clenched teeth. 

"I'm sorry, that hurts?" At Jim's reluctant nod he backed off a little, taking in the rest of him, "Do you think you could sit up for me?" 

Jim _really_ didn't want to sit up. He wanted to lay face down in the dirt for a little longer and just ignore reality, hell he had a sneaking suspicion that Bones wanted that too, but in the end his husband's worried face got him moving.

With a groan he shifted until he was sat up, leaning against the wall. His husband instantly moved to help him, but Jim shook his head firmly, "Hey, stop. I'm fine. Please, /please/, be careful with your arm," He all but begged, because all they needed right now was to make that particular situation any worse, "I-I'm fine," He repeated, because Bones clearly wasn't convinced. 

Bones' eyes were everywhere, first meeting Jim's with a strained smile before moving across his body with the speed of a man who had done this a thousand times before. They settled almost immediately on his side, where Jim had clamped his hand in a death grip over the wound there. Several pieces of glass had been pushed deeper or knocked free and holding on for dear life, trying to stem the flow, had been the best Jim could do.

"Jesus. Shit," His husband swore, sitting back on his heels as his good hand hovered over the wound, without daring to touch, "Be- be careful. My God, Jim, your bleeding is- _shit_. Let me see Jim, move your hand,"

But Jim didn't move, not immediately, he was too busy staring at Bones' hand, the only part of his injured arm that was visible... and it wasn't a good colour.

"Your arm, is it-"

"Jesus Christ Jim. _Forget_ about my damn arm right now. You're _bleeding_ , don't you get that? And not like you were before either. If we don't get this under control you're going to go into shock, _do you understand me_?" 

Jim swallowed thickly. His husband's eyes were as serious as he could ever remember them being, his good hand shaking with the fear that he was trying to impart on Jim, trying to make him understand the severity of the situation as if Jim wasn't acutely aware already, as if he hadn't spent all his time holding his own flesh together. Shakily he nodded, taking a deep breath, "Okay," 

"Good. Good Jim. Now, move your hand, let me see," He hesitated again, but not for the same reason. After holding on for so long, of desperately trying to stop the bleeding, it was as though Bones words simply didn't _compute_.

"Hey, it's okay. You can let go now Jim, alright? Look at me... _look at me,_ you can let go,"

He blinked for a moment, before nodded, his hand falling away from his side, moved into action by Bones' understanding gaze. Almost instantly he felt more blood begin to run down his side and he shuddered at the feeling, groaning a little as that pulled on the injury.

"Hey. Stay still. Just stay still for me Jim, let me look," 

Wearily he leaned his head back against the wall, nodding a little, surrendering completely to Bones' ministrations. Hissing a little at every probing touch around the worst of the bleeding.

"Okay, I need you to take you undershirt off, can you do that for me?" At Jim's doubtful look he pressed on, "We _need_ to stop this bleeding, okay? So I _need_ you to do this,"

Bones had this uncanny ability to make Jim _listen,_ no matter how little he might want to. To make him stop and really take in what Bones was trying to say... and right now he was saying that he was scared. He was terrified out his damn mind for Jim, that this was more serious than he could possibly hope to understand.

"Okay, okay. Just- hold on,"

As quietly as possible Jim struggled out of his shirt, only crying out when he had to pull the dried blood that cemented shirt to skin away from the injury, "Shit... God," He spat out, Bones hand immediately moving to give his shoulder a squeeze.

"I know Jim, but you need to get it off. That's it. Good," He said softly, helping Jim get it up and over his head, balling the material up before lowering it to Jim's side.

He braced for the pain of Bones' touching it, of pressing hard against the flow of blood, as unyielding as every other time he'd done this... but it never came. Frowning he looked down. Bones' hand was shaking. _Bones' hand was shaking._ Something Jim had never seen it do, not once in all the years he'd known him... but it was shaking now. Clearly too scared to touch him and make anything worse, his hand was hovering near the worst of the bleeding. Jim didn't know if it was the pain or the stress that was causing this, but either way it needed to stop.

Taking the shirt from him with a significant look, Jim pressed down hard himself, spitting out a curse at the sharp pain that ripped through him.

"Jim-"

"It's fine," He panted quickly, forestalling what he was sure was about to be an apology, "It's fine Bones, just... sit back," He said tiredly, nodding to the patch of wall beside him. 

He watched his husband hesitate, knew that this must be killing him. That he'd spent a lifetime working it into the very essence of his _being_ , that he should be compelled to _act_ when someone was injured, but as he met Jim's eyes, they both knew he couldn't do that. Not right now. So, the Doctor sat back, his whole body shivering with relief and the chance to do so again. "Okay," he breathed out. "You just - okay. You just do as I say, we'll do this."

Jim nodded slowly, pressing the shirt tighter with a groan, biting at his lip in indecision.

"What is it?" And damn his husband for knowing him so well, for seeing all the things Jim wasn't brave enough to say. 

"In my boot I-I keep..." He trailed off, almost afraid to admit how barbaric his actions were, terrified to admit this to his husband, "I keep a suture kit in my boot. Always have since, well... since Tarsus," He admitted softly, and it felt like a damn confession.

Maybe it was. Bones had heard so much already, helped him through _so damn much_ already, but things like this; habits that showed he wasn't quite as far away from Tarsus as he pretended to be... they were harder to admit. 

A warm hand squeezed his, drawing his attention back to his husband, "It's okay, you hear me? It's okay Jim. Good- it's good. We can work with that," His voice had shifted again, away from his 'so help me God Jim you better start listening' voice, to his 'I know listening is hard right now, but I need you to do it anyway' voice, "We have to think about what we _have_ Jim. And what we have is a way to keep you alive, so that's what I need you to focus on. And if you can't do that, I _need_ you to tell me,"

His eyes were serious when Jim finally found the courage to meet them, but not without the understanding that always shone there. He wasn't being cruel by brushing past Jim's pain like this, he was being kind. He was urging Jim on because time was against them and if Jim couldn't get his shit together _right the hell now_ he was going to be in serious trouble. 

"Jim?"

And this time he found the strength to answer, spurred on by the very real knowledge that Bones was scared for him, "Never thought I'd see the day that place saved my life," He muttered, appreciating the dark irony for a second before shaking it off. With a curt nod, he squeezed Bones' hand right back, letting him know that he was _here_ , that he could this, "If I sit beside you, will you be able to see well enough?"

"This'll work," Bones said with a confident nod, and they both knew it _had_ to, "Let me see what you have and then we'll have a better idea with what we're working with, okay?" And he was still speaking slowly, as though worried Jim might spook and be lost to him again.

Nodding he managed to toe off his left boot, reaching inside to tear a small leather pouch away from the side, presenting it to Bones so he could inspect the meagre supplies within; a threaded needle, set of tweezers and two alcohol wipes, "Couldn't quite fit a dermal in there, believe me... I tried," He joked tiredly and worryingly he didn't know if the exhaustion was from the stress or the blood loss. 

Bones looked up sharply at the words anyway, clearly worried that it was the latter, "We'll manage Jim, okay?" And he could see that Bones really wanted to take a minute, wanted to make sure Jim really was alright with this, wanted to talk him through it properly... but they didn't have time for that.

"'s okay Bones, just tell me what to do," He mumbled, and now he was _sure_ it was the blood loss, because his eyes were dragging downwards when adrenaline should be keeping them open.

"James T. Kirk you stay the hell awake, you hear me?"

Guiltily Jim's eyes snapped back open, smiling sheepishly up at Bones. The sight broke his heart because his husband was clearly _terrified,_ eyes wide as he looked down at Jim, "Sorry, sorry. 'm awake, promise," He sighed, giving Bones hand a squeeze as he worked on shaking off that lingering tiredness, "I'm ready, okay? Tell me what to do," 

Bones searched his eyes for a moment longer before nodding, "Alright Jim. I need you to open one of those wipes, that's it," He praised, watching with a pinched expression as Jim's blood slicked hands struggled to tear the little packet open, "Have you got it? Good. Now clean your hands and the tweezers darlin',"

Jim followed those instructions as best he could, wiping away most of the blood with a nod. He could see how much Bones wanted to jump in and help him, how much he longed to be able to take over and just _fix this,_ but the doctor's only good hand still trembled badly. Jim was good at taking orders though- when it suited him. They just might make this yet. The alternative was unthinkable. The alternative was Jim bleeding out in Bones' arms and like hell was he about to put his husband through _anything_ of the sort. With renewed purpose he wiped down everything before nodding once.

"Well done. Now, if you can manage it I need you to use those tweezers to get rid of any of the glass that you can reach, okay? Anything too deep you leave, understand? The Enterprise will fix that later. _Don't_ go digging for anything, you hear me?"

Swallowing Jim nodded.

"No, I need to hear you say it Jim,"

"Take out the glass, leave anything that I can't reach. Got it. I've got it," He hastened to assure his husband, bringing the tweezers to his side. He hesitated for a moment, for just a moment before Bones' tightened his fingers around his own.

"You _need_ to do this Jim," And the words were as forceful as they were desperate. God, Bones should never sound like that, not in a medical emergency because dammit, Bones always knew what to do, Bones would always make him better. Only now he couldn't... so it was up to Jim.

So, as efficiently as possible, Jim let go of Bones' hand and dug the tweezers into his side, biting into his lip to try and stifle any pained noises. The smaller shards he dealt with first, reasoning that they wouldn't aggravate the bleeding as much, but eventually he could put it off no longer. With a groan of pain he pulled the largest, pointed piece of debris from his side, eyes widening dramatically as blood began to pour from the space.

He turned those uncertain eyes up to meet Bones', only to be met with calm understanding, "That's it, well done. That's perfect Jim. Don't worry, you're doing exactly what I said, alright? Now, put the tweezers down and disinfect your hands, you should still have another wipe," He coached gently, nodding encouragingly as Jim went about doing just that. 

"I'm just going to try slow the bleeding a little so you can work," Was the only warning he got before pain flared again in his side, Bones pressing the shirt _hard_ against the wound. Even with the shake in his hands they still held the strength of a surgeon and _Christ_ that fucking hurt.

"I know, I know. Just disinfect your hands Jim. Stay with me, alright? Good, now run that wipe over the needle and your side. It's not ideal, but it's the best we can manage," 

He didn't bother to point out the risk of infection, even Jim knew that it was the blood loss that would kill him.

"Have you got a good hold on it? Good, we're going to do this now, you understand me? It's time to get to work Jim so I need you to look at me for a minute, good. This is going to hurt, okay darlin'? But I _need_ you to keep going, it's real important that you tell me if you feel like you're going to pass out. Do you understand me?"

There was a pause where Jim caught his breath, nodding along... but clearly that wasn't enough again, "Words Jim, I need you to use them,"

"Yes," He panted, gathering himself, "Yes, I understand,"

"Good. Hey, you've got this, okay? I'll make a medic out of you yet," Bones murmured, kissing him softly on the forehead before leaning back, "Okay, here's what we're going to do..." 

Now, Jim had actually been forced to administer archaic 'stitches' before to one of the kids he was protecting on Tarsus, so he had a vague understanding of what this was going to be like. However, nothing could have prepared him for that first stitch, for the feeling of his flesh being pulled and tugged together by a piece of what was basically thread. A startled groan ripped its way out his throat as he pulled the first pieces of skin together. "G-god! Fuck.. _.fuck_ ," He spat out, hand shaking as he faltered.

"It's okay, it's okay-" Bones spoke quickly, and even now Jim could hear the frustration in his voice, knew that he ached to bat Jim hands away and do this himself. That he was only able to stay this calm because he knew that it was keeping _Jim_ calm, "You're doing great Jim, just keep going. Nice and calm okay? Keep going,"

He managed maybe four more, his fingers slipping through the blood that they hadn't been able to stem completely, "Bones, I really... I really don't think I can finish this," And it wasn't the pain that he was worried about, not in the slightest, but rather the fog that was slowly creeping over him, making it hard to think, to move fast or precise enough.

"You listen to me Jim, I have not put up with your insufferable ass for all these years only to lose you now, you hear me?" And the words were desperate, Bones' hand managing to guide Jim's eyes up to meet his own, "You're _going_ to do this,"

"You like my ass," Jim managed to mumbled, but his eyes focused readily on his husband's, searching them for the strength he was going to need, turning his head into Bones hand on a rare show of vulnerability, something he never usually allowed himself unless they were alone in their quarters.

"Please Jim. _Please,_ " Jim's throat tightened at that, the words sounded absolutely wrecked, "You have to do this. You _have_ to keep going. For me, come on,"

Nodding numbly, he leaned against Bones' forehead for just a moment. Just a damn moment, that's all he needed... but he could tell even that was making Bones nervous. So, with a final deep breath and a little shake of his head he got back to work. 

"Thank you. That's it darlin', that's it. Do another one, up a little... there. Perfect, pull it tight. Shh, I know," Bones' gripped his shoulder tight, thumb stroking back and forth against the skin of neck, "I know, but you're nearly done, just a few more, okay?"

" _Bones,"_ He groaned, as though it was the only words left in him, the only word he was capable of because right now his world had narrowed until it was just the two of them.

"I _know_ , Jim. You're doing great, okay? Nearly done... one more should do it. _There_. There... tie it up now. Just tie it up and let it go. There you go. It's over, Jim. It's over," 

He barely heard the words, but he _did_ feel the relieved kiss at his temple, the shaky sigh Bones let out against the skin there, "Well done," And this time the words were whispered into his ear, soft and gentle. 

Woozy, in pain and feeling more than a little vulnerable, Jim slumped against Bones' good side, turning to press his face tightly against his neck, taking comfort form the feel of Bones' skin against his own, the feeling calming him in a way nothing else ever would, "'m never g'na complain 'bout the dermal again," He managed to get out, words muffled against Bones.

The startled chucked from his husband, that he felt more than heard, went a long way to slowing his heart rate as well, "Hah. I'm holding you to that you know. Don't go keep promises you can't keep now sugar," Bones' fingers were gently tracing his spine and oh, that was good. That was really good, his breathing subconsciously settling into that rhythm. It wasn't the hug either of them wanted to give, but it was the best they could manage right now... and by now they were experts in 'making do'.

"I never do," He said indignantly, drawing back to look at Bones in the eye, watching as his husband's gaze softened into something fond.

"No, you don't," He agreed easily, pressing a kiss in the middle of Jim's forehead before guiding him back down, "Rest now Jim, okay? Just you rest. You did real good, 'm proud of you," He heard murmured.

He very nearly nodded off, the warm comfort of being in Bones' arms, no matter the circumstances, _almost_ enough to coax him off to sleep. Almost. But there was a much larger part of Jim that knew he had to be as alert as possible, had to be ready to go through all that again, to make sure that Bones didn't have to. The very thought of them taking Bones, especially with his arm...

_His arm._

And suddenly Jim was remembering what he'd seen earlier, the sickening blue tinge to his husband's fingers. Turning his head he met Bones eyes insistently, "Your arm. Is there... do you have a pulse?" He asked urgently.

Bones' broken expression was all the answer he needed. 

"Is there- can't we do anything else? I'll do anything else Bones, I promise," He said earnestly, exhaustion be damned. Bones _needed_ that hand, and if there was anything Jim could do, anything at all that would make this situation better he was damn well going to do it because, well... the alternative was unthinkable. 

Bones closed his eyes, doing something he hadn't felt the need to do for a long, long time; he hid from Jim. He shut him off from seeing what he was thinking, what he was going through... and that was just unacceptable.

"Hey, no. Don't do that," He murmured, moving himself with a soft groan until they were sitting face to face again, gently stroking Bones' hair back," Don't. Stay here with me," He all but begged, trying to draw his husband back to him.

It worked, after a fashion. Bones swallowed thickly once before blinking his eyes open and, even though Jim knew he was fighting to hid it, he could see the raw desperation there, "There's nothing more you can do Jim," He sighed, and Jim heard the tears in his voice, even if he would never see them fall. Heard the resignation, already in mourning for something he hadn't lost yet.

"How long before..." He trailed off.

"Before it can't be saved? Hard to tell. I'd say a couple more hours," He said, and the words were numb, spoken like facts, rather than the words of a man trying to come to terms with an unthinkable future.

He didn't dare point that out however, if this was what Bones needed to get through this, then so be it.

"Okay. They'll find us before that. It's gonna be okay," He murmured, and it sounded like a promise even though Jim had no idea if he'd be able to keep it or not, had no _control_ over whether he'd be able to keep it or not... and that was tearing Jim apart. He couldn't handle this, just sitting and waiting. He should be _doing_ something, dammit. But, the harsh reality was that there was simply nothing to be done, Jim's least favourite kind of situation.

"Yeah, sure," Bones agreed with him, even though the words lacked any kind of confidence, "Sure they will. You should rest Jim, you can barely keep your damn eyes open," His protesting was forestalled by a finger against his lips, "Please, don't fight me on this. All I can do right now is keep you healthy, that's _all I can do_ , you understand?"

And Jim did. He understood perfectly the need to control something when it felt as though everything else was falling apart round about you. Bones wasn't wrong either, he was exhausted. 

"...okay," He agreed eventually, "You'll wake me if-"

"Yes Jim. Just sleep. Here," Bones said quietly, guiding his head down until it was in the doctor's lap, "There we go. Do you think you could sleep like that?"

Jim managed a bleary nod, eyelids already falling closed despite any misgivings he might have about leaving Bones alone like this, alone with the knowledge of what he might lose. 

"Don't you worry about me, okay? Just you sleep. Just you sleep," He repeated, and when he started running fingers through his hair, scratching lightly against his scalp Jim was helpless than to do anything other than obey. 

He shot awake some indeterminable time later to the sound of a heavy door being slammed somewhere down the corridor. Instantly on high alert he shot into an upright position, spitting out a curse as that pulled on the stitched, swaying a little from the rush of blood.

"Easy. Easy," Bones soothed instantly, placing a cautionary finger to his lips as he listened intently, "I-I think... yeah. Listen, hear that?" He asked, managing a relieved smile as distantly he could hear familiar voices shouting their names, 

"WE'RE HERE!" Jim called, loud and insistent until the door crashed open, familiar faces piling into the room, phasers drawn and looking like damn angels. Vengeful angels at that.

In the blur that followed Jim would only be able to focus on one damn thing... that he hadn't been able to ask Bones how long he'd been asleep, if more than a couple hours had passed before their rescue.

\---

Jim jolted awake at the low groaning noise, eyes moving immediately to Bones'. He'd been motionless in that BioBed for _days_ and seeing him start to wake had Jim floundering for a moment. Only for a moment though, Bones' low noise of confusion spurring Jim into action. 

"Hey," He murmured, gently smoothing a hand through Bones' hair before carefully settling it against his cheek, "You with me babe?" He asked softly. God, he'd been both waiting for and dreading this moment in equal measures for days. 

Making sure to keep any trace of that out of his expression he offered Bones a gentle smile and an encouraging nod as his eyes slowly fluttered open, "That's it. Don't try and move just yet. Are you in any pain, huh?"

A sluggish shake of Bones head went a long way to calming him, "Good, that's good," He hummed, reaching for a cup to slip a couple ice chips between his husband's lips, smiling a little at the blissed out look on Bones' face as the ice melted, coating his dry throat. 

"Are you alright?" Bones rasped at him and Jim just barely managed to keep his expression straight. It was so damn like Bones to ask after Jim first. To make sure he was okay, no matter what condition Bones woke in.

"I'm fine," He rushed to assure his husband with some of the only good news he had to offer, "Thanks to you, "He said with a tight smile, drawing the hand he was holding up to his lips, placing a feather light kiss to the knuckles, making sure all the while not to disturb the blanket. He allowed the silence to stretch on for much longer than he should have, selfishly allowing Bones to live on in ignorant bliss, for just a little longer.

"I have something to tell you," He said eventually, keeping his expression as passionate and open as possible, "And it's going to be hard to hear, okay? So I need you to remember that no matter what, I'm going to be right here. Right by your side, just like I should be," He assured Bones, drawing on all his experience of delivering bad news to grieving families as Captain to get him through.

He watched in agony as Bones recognised the tone of voice he was using, the tight expression and the hard-earned courage in Jim's eyes. He watched as Bones' heart broke in mere _anticipation_ of the news he was about to receive because Jim knew he _recognised_ all of this. This was how Jim delivered bad news. The worst kind of news. The news of a bereavement.... but if they were both still alive...?

"My arm?"

"Yeah Bones... I'm _so sorry_ ,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say I'm sorry for leaving it like that but I'm just...? Not?
> 
> The next fic in the series will deal with the fallout of Bones losing his arm and our favourite two idiots try and find a way to make this new reality work for them.
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


End file.
